


Soft Fur

by EXOticKey



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Hybrids, M/M, Tagging as I go, jookyun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-11-28 12:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11418294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EXOticKey/pseuds/EXOticKey
Summary: Changkyun isn't afraid per-say, he's just anxious and unsure of other people. He hates being around them, you never know what they're thinking unless they say it out loud - and honestly, who actually says their thoughts aloud these days? If he wasn't forced to leave his small room, he probably wouldn't.AKA: Changkyun needs a cuddle buddy to make him feel safe.





	1. Chapter 1

 

‘ _ Too hot _ ,’ Changkyun thought as he wormed his way out from under his comforter with his laptop. He sat in his bed and stretched his arms up above his head and looked over toward the only other source of light in his room aside from his computer, his digital clock that read 21:26. Changkyun got up from his bed to go over and switch on a light, but ended up tripping over his laptop cable and crashing to the floor with a loud thud. He sat up and groaned rubbing his right elbow that throbbed with pain due to landing on it before proceeding to crawl to his light switch. He flicked it on and had to blink a few times in order for his eyes to adjust to the light.

He looked toward his bed to see that rather than his laptop being dragged off the bed when he tripped, only the charger had been pulled out; he sighed in relief. He took off his pajamas and tossed them onto his bed before wandering over to his drawers and opening them to retrieve new clothes to wear. It wasn’t until he opened his drawer and saw that it was empty did he realized that he hadn’t done laundry in weeks. He ran a hand through his hair and sauntered over to his closet where his laundry hamper was located. He fished out a shirt and pair of pants and sniffed them; he didn’t think they smelled too bad so he put them on and walked back to his bed and sat down with his laptop.

A knock on his door a few moments later startled him. He walked quietly towards the door and peeked through the peep-hole to see who it was that was knocking. It ended up being the RA, Yoo Kihyun, and he looked somewhat concerned. Changkyun sighed and took a deep breath before unlocking his door and opening it slowly so that there was only enough room for him to peek out his head. He stammered out his question, “I-Is something...w-wrong?”

Kihyun’s eyebrows furrowed together, looking worried, “I heard a loud thud, I was wondering if you were alright.”

Changkyun blushed from embarrassment and lowered his head down so that his hair covered his eyes, “I just...tripped is all…” he said unsurely.

“It sounded painful,” Kihyun started, “did you hurt yourself at all?”

“No...I’m alright.” Changkyun responded curtly. 

“Alright, well I’ll go back to my room then,” Kihyun turned on his heels and started back to his room which was two doors down from Changkyun’s. When he was about halfway to his room he turned around and smiled, “if you need anything, just knock on my door!” Kihyun couldn’t see, but Changkyun nodded silently before retreating back into his room.

Back in the safety of his room, Changkyun walked to his window and moved the blackout curtains over to peek outside. He saw a few groups of students walking around campus, girls were dressed up in tight outfits and high heels, ‘ _ parties… _ ’ he thought. Changkyun turned away and made his way over to his desk and grabbed the hoodie laying over the back of his chair and put it on before swiping his iPod off the desk and placing the headphones on his head and popping up his hood. He closed his laptop as he made his way to the door; taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped outside, head down. He locked the door and then proceeded down the hall to the stairs - he wasn’t going to risk being caught in the elevator with several other people.

Once he made it to the ground floor he walked out of the dorm hall and toward the street. Many people were walking on the sidewalk and it made Changkyun too nervous to look up, so he watched his feet take each step as he walked a couple blocks to the convenience store. A few students were standing outside the entrance and he decided to wait until they left before he made his way in. ‘ _ Why can’t they just leave now _ ,’ Changkyun thought after standing to the side for almost five minutes. It wasn’t for ten more minutes that the students finally walked away and Changkyun was able to enter the store. He removed his headphones and placed them around his neck and then pulled his hood back up. If the employee behind the counter didn’t know better, he would have thought that Changkyun was a robber, but he recognized the regular quiet customer walking over to the freezer section. Changkyun opened the door and was hit with cold air, he quickly grabbed a frozen pizza to eat for dinner and shut the door. He then walked a few doors down and grabbed a coke to drink with it as well. He finally made his way over to the counter where the tall and slim employee stood behind the register and put his items down before pointing behind the counter at a pack of cigarettes.

“The usual...” he said in almost a whisper. The employee nodded and grabbed the pack from behind him and placed it with the rest of his items.

“That’ll be $12.85.” The boy said monotonously and with tired eyes.

The entire transaction occurred without either of the boys making any kind of eye contact. The employee appreciated this customer because he never made a fuss and he always knew exactly what he wanted; it made things easier for him. Changkyun grabbed his purchase off the counter and walked outside; he stopped just outside the door, placed his headphones back over his head, and fished out the cigarettes from his bag. Removing one from the box and retrieving his lighter from his pocket, he put it in his mouth and lit it. He immediately started to feel slightly more relaxed as he made his way back to the school campus, taking drags off the cigarette as he walked.

Once he reached the gates, he put out the finished cigarette and placed it into an ash-tray bin on the sidewalk. The strolled back to his dorm hall and swiped his pass to allow him access back into the building. As he made his way to the staircase a rowdy group of students exited the elevator bringing with them a strong smell of weed and alcohol. Changkyun attempted not to make it obvious that he was holding his breath as he walked by them. One of the boys was holding the elevator open when Changkyun looked up to find the stairwell door.

“Here you go buddy,” the boy said, perhaps yelled, to Changkyun. He looked towards the boy and didn’t make any type of eye contact, he noticed that he had bright dyed blonde hair and was athletically built - the exact type of person Changkyun put highest on his list of types of people to avoid. 

Changkyun pointed to the stairwell instead of speaking to indicate that the boy no longer had to hold the elevator for him. The boy seemed to get the hint and he jogged to catch up with the rest of the group. Changkyun let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding once the group was out of earshot and pushed the door open to the stairwell in order to climb to the fifth floor. Once he reached the floor he hurried to his door and inserted his key into the lock, his safe haven was so close. He heard a door open down the hall and he glanced over to see Kihyun leave his room with a tall, broad man, ‘ _ another athlete _ ’ Changkyun thought to himself once more as he pushed his door open and slipped inside. 

He put his plastic bag of items from the convenience store on his desk and retrieved the coke from the bag, twisting the cap off and taking a sip. He placed the drink back down onto the desk and picked up the pizza. He walked over to his bed and grabbed his laptop as well and exited his room, looking both ways first, of course. He hurried up the stairs to the sixth floor where the kitchen was located and thankfully for him, it was unoccupied. 

Changkyun preheated the oven and placed the pizza inside, setting the timer for 25 minutes. He sat at the table, his head resting on his palm durdling around on his laptop and watching a variety of YouTube videos before the timer finally went off. He quickly removed the pizza and brought it back down to his room to eat it. He placed his laptop on his desk along with the pizza, and took off his hoodie: ‘ _ too hot _ .’ He pulled up an episode of a drama he’d been watching and sat down in his swivel chair, pulling the pizza into his lap. It took one episode for him to finish the entire pizza, so he decided to load a game to play for the night instead now that his hands weren’t preoccupied.

Overwatch and TeamSpeak loaded on his computer as he got up to throw away his trash, he heard a ping from his computer indicated that someone had messaged him. When he returned to his computer he saw he had messages from a couple of his online gaming friends.

  
  


_ [H.One]: Yoo IM, finally decided to join us I see _

_ [Minnie]: Finished jacking off? _

_ [H.One]: He probably did _

 

_ No I wasn’t you assholes :[Me] _

 

_ [Minnie]: Maybe you should, may help get rid of the sass you always have _

_ [H.One]: I’d say get laid, but you know… _

 

_ Yeah no :[Me] _

_ Can we just play now? :[Me] _

 

_ [H.One]: Yeah let’s _

  
  


Changkyun has never met these two and none of them know any kind of personal information about one another. He prefers it that way though, he would much rather remain unknown if he could. When they all first met each other they thought that Minnie was female, it was only when he accidently turned on his mic once that they realized they were wrong. His friend H.One spent a week talking to Changkyun about how his dreams of having a gaming girlfriend were crushed. These two were the closest Changkyun had to friends and he treasured them. He didn’t enjoy the company of people around him, so ones that were far away and the least likely to actually meet appealed to him the most.

They played until Changkyun yawned and glanced at his computer clock, it read 3:12. He pulled up TeamSpeak and opened their chat.

  
  


_ Hey guys it’s late I’m going to sleep :[Me] _

 

_ [H.One]: Party pooper it’s not even late _

_ [Minnie]: Pussy _

 

_ I hate you guys :[Me] _

 

_ [H.One]: Alright seeya _

_ [H.One]: Log on earlier next time though dude _

_ [Minnie]: Seriously playing with just this asshole gets boring _

_ [H.One]: Hey r00d _

_ [Minnie]: Heh _

 

_ Whatever bye :[Me] _

  
  


Changkyun closed his laptop and got up from his desk and wandered over to his laundry hamper and tossed in the clothes he was wearing and put on his pajamas. He walked over and shut his light off before falling onto his bed and crawling beneath the covers. He pulled his comforter over his head and made himself into a ball before closing his eyes and attempting to drift off into sleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Too soon Changkyun was waking up to the annoying sound of his 7:00 alarm on Monday morning. He groaned and peeked his head out from under his comforter in order to find his phone and turn off the alarm. He laid there for a few minutes before getting up out of his bed with his comforter still wrapped around him. It was cold in his room due to accidentally leaving the window open the entire night - he had spilled ramen in the room and the smell was irritating him so he had opened a window in order to get fresh air inside.

He walked over to the window and saw that it was raining outside, this made him rethink going to class that morning. He allowed his comforter to drop off his shoulders as he closed the window. He then turned around and placed his back against the wall and slid down onto the floor, wrapping himself back up in his comforter. ‘ _ I don’t have to go...I have a good enough grade and the professor has no attendance policy… _ ’ he thought to himself and he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold wall. His body collapsed to the floor as the rain lulled him back to sleep.

 

_ He stood outside in the cold; darkness overtook the sky, no stars were visible due to the clouds in the sky. He looked around and noticed one of the campus walkway lights was flickering. His feet started to feel extremely cold so he looked down and noticed not only was he in his pajamas he also wasn’t wearing any socks or shoes. His dorm hall was located directly in front of him so he began walking towards it, however it seemed not to be getting any closer. Panicking, he picked up a slow jog towards the door gradually gaining speed until he was in a full sprint when he realized he wasn’t moving anywhere. He tripped over his own feet and fell face-first into the pavement unable to catch himself. He placed his hands on the ground and pushed himself up off the pavement, his body ached with pain as he tried to sit up. Once he was up on his knees he looked up to see he was in front of the door to the building. He scrambled to his feet and raced to the scanner; he furiously searched his pockets for his school pass, but couldn’t seem to locate it. He banged on the door and tried yelling, but no sounds came out from his throat.  _

_ It was at this point that Changkyun really began to freak out - as much as he loved in the darkness of his room, he was afraid of the darkness outside. He continued to try and yell, hoping that his voice would come back to him. While silently screaming, he heard footsteps from behind him on the walkway. He looked into the glass door and saw the reflection of a man standing behind him. The man was tall and strong, wearing dark clothes, but Changkyun didn’t care about that, what he noticed was the man’s lack of a face. He turned around to face the man and backed himself up so that he stood flush against the glass. He didn’t know how to react when the man started to run straight at him, he had nowhere to go, and even if he tried he was certain that he would be running in place once again. The man lunged at him, hands in front of him as if to attempt to strangle Changkyun, he slammed his eyes shut and let out a scream, only for it to work this time… _

 

“Ahhhh!” Changkyun sat straight up off the floor. Blinking furiously and taking in a deep breath, he looked around and took in the familiar scenery of his dorm room. He let out an extended exhale and slid his hand through his hair only to notice it’s wetness. He ran a hand down his face, wiping sweat off his forehead and tears from his eyes. He pushed up off the floor to stand on shaky legs and gripped the windowsill for balance. He leaned against the wall and tried to monitor his breathing before attempting to move across the room.

Once he regained his ability to walk and had calmed his heart rate, he shuffled over to his bed and sat down on its edge. He picked up his phone and looked at the time, it read 12:15, meaning he ended up missing his first two classes of that day. He only had one more that started in an hour, so he decided to take a shower and rinse off the sweat from his body. He walked over to his closet and grabbed his towel before making his way to his drawers and taking out clothes to wear - he had finally done laundry on Saturday after nearly a month. 

He made his way to the bathroom and placed his shower items in the shower stall that he always uses. He turned his phone on and opened up Spotify; he hated showering without music, he felt like people would be listening to him otherwise. He got in and stripped out of his, now dirty, pajamas and tossed them outside the stall before turning on the water. The water hit his skin ice cold, it almost gave him a burning sensation, but he just dealt with it knowing that it would turn warm soon. As his hair got wet, he ran his hands through it noticing how greasy it was, he hadn’t noticed because he rarely looked in the mirror to check his appearance nor did most people may him much attention.

Once he finished showering, he dried himself off with his towel and began to put on his clean clothes in the shower stall. He heard the bathroom door open signaling that someone had just entered, he heard them walk around a bit before entering one of the other shower stalls. Once he heard the water start going he grabbed his stuff and hurried out of the bathroom back to his room. Once inside he hung up his towel and located his hoodie and shoes. Once he had them on he grabbed his backpack and opened his closet and snagged a strawberry poptart from his snack shelf. He shuffled out his door and locked it behind him and headed toward the staircase to class. 

 

* * *

 

Changkyun walked out of class feeling hungry and tired as usual - interacting with the other students could be exhausting sometimes - so he decided it would be a good idea to head towards his usual convenience store and pick up a few snacks to hold him until dinner. He arranged his headphones on his head and walked out of the building and made a bee-line towards the street in the direction of the convenience store. Due to the location of the class building he approached the store from the opposite side that his usual route would take him if he had left his dorm building. 

He looked around a bit at his surroundings as he walked down the street noticing a few shops he’d never seen before as well as a few strange people puttering about in some of the alleys. As he looked through the windows of some of the stores he noticed a bakery and stopped to look inside beginning to debate whether or not he’d rather grab something to eat from there instead. He took his headphones off and let them rest around his neck before entering the bakery to take a look around. 

A bell rang the minute the door opened, “welcome,” a voice sounded from the other side of the bakery and Changkyun spun around slightly startled by the sudden noise. He discovered the source of the voice which came from a tall and lanky boy that looked not too much older than himself. “Are you looking for anything in particular?” He asked in a smooth and low tone.

“Um…” Changkyun drawled out in a quiet voice, just barely audible, “no...I just came from a different direction and saw this place and was curious…” he internally argued with himself, why was he responding to this boy? He’s never once in the past two years willingly conversed with someone, why start up again now.

“Ahh I see,” the boy nods and offered his hand, “the name’s Hyungwon,” he pointed to the name tag on his shirt with his other hand and laughed softly before continuing, “let me know if you decide to buy anything and I can ring you up.”

“Changkyun…” he replied softly mentally berating himself for replying again. 

Hyungwon noticed the boy’s standoff-ish behavior and retracted his hand as well as took a few steps back in order to make him feel more comfortable, “well, Changkyun, I’ll let you be and figure out what you want,” he offered a smile to the boy. Hyungwon retreated behind the counter and took a seat at the register and picked up the book he had previously been reading before the younger boy walked in.

Changkyun tore his eyes from the other boy and made a round of the bakery checking out all the pastries, bread, and cookies; he always had a sweet tooth and the pastries looked absolutely delectable to him. Changkyun cleared his throat in order to get the attention of the taller, once he looked up Changkyun motioned to the pastries that were on display in one of the glass showcases. Hyungwon nodded and grabbed a bag along with a couple napkins before walking over, “how many would you like?” Changkyun held up two fingers, the other nodded and grabbed out two of them and placed them into the bag before beckoning him to follow along to the register.

Having the desk as a buffer between himself and the tall boy instantly made him feel more at ease than when he had been standing so closely before. Hyungwon punched in the purchase and read him the amount that was due. Changkyun pulled out a few bills and placed them on the counter rather than in the boy’s outstretched hand; the older boy didn’t seem too fazed and instead just picked them up and placed them in the register before sliding the bag across the counter until it lay just in front of the other. Changkyun thanked the boy and turned around to make his way towards the door to leave. As he reached for the door handle and pushed the bell rang and a voice piped up from behind him, “do come again!” Changkyun turned his head and made eye contact with the other boy as he continued, “I’m here everyday from open to close.” Changkyun found himself nodding and making a mental note of what he just said before continuing through the door out to the street. As he walked down the sidewalk he pulled out one of the pastries that he had bought from the bag and thought a bit.

‘ _ Hyungwon...why do I seem to recognize him, it feels like I’ve met him before somewhere. _ ’ The tall boy with long limbs seemed so familiar to the younger, something about the way he spoke and the words he used. The sleepy eyes that locked with his before he exited the bakery were so comforting and seemed so routine to see.  _ ‘But I’m so sure that I’ve never met him before-- _ ’ 

  
He freezes mid-step, coming to a halt when he realizes: he has seen him before. He was the same droopy eyed, monotonous boy that worked at the convenience store that he frequented at ungodly hours during the night. Changkyun began to wonder if the taller had recognized him and that was why he struck up a conversation. He shakes his head and continues walking, dismissing the sudden realization, not wanting to accept that it could possibly be true. _‘No...that’s not it. Even though I’ve been buying things from that store for the past two years, I’ve never interacted with him outside of exchanging cash for the things I bought. This is the first time I’ve even talked to him...it’s impossible for his way of speaking and words to sound so familiar. Yet, it does feel that way.’_ He internally groaned, his head hurting from thinking so much about the situation; he’d never even thought this hard about school before. 

He felt a rush of relief when he spotted the campus up ahead of him; all he wanted to now was to go to his room and lay down on his bed. The day may not have been physically, but it was mentally exhausting - he’s not used to carrying on so much conversation or, frankly, even be out of his room for as long as he had been today. He crossed the small campus as quickly as he could without looking strange to the people that he passed and entered his dorm building. He made his way up the several flights of stairs to get to his floor and stepped out onto his hall, his chest fluttered with excitement.

  
The excitement was short lived, however when he say Kihyun standing in front of his door as if he had just knocked on it. His mind told him to turn and run to hide, but before he was able to spin around and book it, the other male noticed him. Kihyun turned on his feet and began to walk over towards the younger, his usual stupid smile was missing from his face. He was beginning to worry about what he may have done wrong until Kihyun put a hand on his shoulder and sighed, “hey, so...I was told to talk to you, but I don’t want to do it here, come to my room?” The words hardly registered in Changkyun’s head due to the fact that Kihyun was touching him - nobody is supposed to touch him. The brunette’s mouth was dry as he simply stared and blinked at the other boy, soon his gaze moved to fall on the hand resting upon his shoulder. Kihyun noticed and quickly retracted his hand, “ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he shakes his head and motions for the younger to follow him, “never mind, just come.”

  
Changkyun reluctantly followed behind the small boy to his room. It’s been a long time since he had ever entered someone else’s room so he felt uneasy walking into that of his resident assistant’s. He glanced around the room and noted how clean it was, it made the younger take a second mental note of the day to clean his own later. Kihyun motioned for the other to sit in the soft chair by the window while former jumped up onto his bed. Changkyun slid his backpack off his shoulder and slowly lowered himself into the chair tentatively. Kihyun pointed at his Keurig and raised an eyebrow to the boy, “do you want some tea or something?” The brunette simply shook his head quickly and stared at the floor just in front of him silently like a defeated puppy. The older boy simply nodded and sighed, feeling a bit awkward, he figured he may as well just get to the point and let the other go on his way, “so...the school’s counselor talked to me...we’re pretty close and I guess she knows I’m your RA, and apparently that means I’m close to you and stuff,” he shook his head realizing he was dragging it out, “a few of your professors supposedly approached her about your attendance and figured it would be a good idea if you’d see her for appointments.” Kihyun’s not looking at the other boy, instead looking at his own hands fiddling with each other.

Changkyun’s face contorts into something akin to horror at the thought of having to go talk to someone, he’d thought about it before, two years ago, but he was too afraid to go through with it. Now here was his RA, telling him that his professors already talked to the counselor about it meaning it’s almost inevitable that he’d have to go. Kihyun continues speaking after a few minutes of silence, “she’s already made you an appointment...it’s on Wednesday at three in the afternoon,” he rubs the back of his neck, “and I’ll be bringing you to ensure you go-- it wasn’t my idea, she told me to...sorry.” He claps his hands together and bows his head a little bit in apology to the younger boy, feeling bad about the situation.

Changkyun just quietly stands up from the chair and picks up his bag from the floor and swiftly swings it around to his back. He very silently moves to the door to leave the room, assuming the conversation was over, he feels a little bit invaded and cornered and all he wants is out of the boy’s room. He reaches out, grips the doorknob and opens the door and mumbles back to Kihyun, “okay...sorry for the inconvenience.”

  
As he’s ducking his head to slide out of the room, Kihyun piped up from behind him, “hey Changkyun?” Said boy turns his head to glance behind him towards the voice and made eye contact with its owner, “I’m not saying this as your RA...or as someone who was tasked with bringing you to counseling, but as a friend,” he stood up and walked over towards the other, making sure to stop a few steps away, “it’ll help…” he gestured to the younger male, “this person, this isn’t you, at least this isn’t the kid I remember when you first came here.” Changkyun simply stared at the boy in front of him before furrowing his eyebrows and escaping from the room quickly back his own room, his sanctuary. 

Once he reached his own room and slipped inside, he locked the door and dumped his backpack on the floor carelessly, forgetting about the bag with the pastry he had placed inside it which is now likely crushed. He dragged himself to his bed where he crawled under the covers, planting his face into his soft pillow and screaming into it as loudly as he can, frustrated. He just wanted to disappear, casual conversation was hard, let alone trying to talk to someone who will constantly try to dig into your mind. He had three classes tomorrow, but he’d already set his mind on not attending them the minute he walked into his room - he didn’t want to have to see his professors after hearing about their referral. Changkyun didn’t move from the spot for the rest of the night; he missed dinner and didn’t even bother to try and log onto his laptop; at some point he’d fallen asleep.

 

_ The room was loud, a random song was playing deafeningly loud from the speakers that littered the house. People bumped into him left and right as he maneuvered through the thick crowd of people. He looked at those surrounding him and noticed: their faces were dark and blurry, impossible to make out any kind of features. Not like it mattered though, Changkyun probably wouldn’t have known them anyway: he didn’t then, why would he now? He swore he had friends here, but he didn’t know where they had disappeared to, it’s been awhile since he’d seen them. As he’d been moving through the crowd of people he bumped into someone and accidentally spilled their drink all over himself. He looked down at himself and groaned, a perfect shirt now completely ruined. The other boy said something that wasn’t exactly heard over the loud music, but the younger looked up and noticed the taller person in front of him - the face easily identifiable. The boy apologized for spilling his drink on the small brunette and offered him his jacket in return. Changkyun simply shook his head and walked past him making his way to the bathroom he vaguely remembered the location of. Two things went unnoticed that night: the older boy smirking and turning to follow him into the bathroom as well as a pair of eyes that watched the interaction from across the room, sitting on the sofa. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY. This took too long slkfjelktnwktnw;;as;fajernwl
> 
> Don't hate me please ;~;

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god this is so bad why...
> 
> Hey friends, this is my first story here, I have no idea where it'll go or how long it'll be, I just know how it's going to end...vaguely. This isn't proofread by a beta because it's just lonely little me. 
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments...I need your feedback to keep going, my self esteem sucks! @.@


End file.
